Today, I talked with my fiance about our wedding. He drew up a prenuptial agreement. One of the provisions said that if I ever go vegetarian or vegan, we immediately divorce and I get nothing. I thought it was a joke and laughed. He was deadly serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm getting married in a week. I was sashaying around the kitchen talking to my friend on the phone, saying, "No more diets, no more blowjobs, and if he complains I get half his money!" when I turned and saw my fiancé in the door. He won't believe that it was a joke and now wants a prenup. FML
Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML
Today, as we were discussing our plans for 2026, I suggested we go vegan as it's healthier and better for the planet. My husband said, "Ask me to go vegan again and I'll have divorce papers for you the next day." Why? Why are men so adamantly opposed to veganism? FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I told my husband we should try go vegan for a while to see if there were any health benefits. He threw me over his shoulder and put me outside, because, “crazy plant ladies live outside with the other vegetables.” FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, after weeks of me "forgetting" to buy meat and animal products, my husband asked to talk. I was hoping he was getting the hints that I wanted us to go vegan. He wanted me to get checked for early-onset dementia. FML
Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Sounds like a deal-breaker to me. Controlling your food intake? Nope. Nada.
JackWood 21
There is your sign. GO
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Comments (4)
DLBL 23
Sounds like a deal-breaker to me. Controlling your food intake? Nope. Nada.
JackWood 21
There is your sign. GO
FluffythePink 23
Eh, it's a principle. If you'd been involved in the prenup writing there'd probably be a clause about him never taking a shit while you're in the bath or something. If you want it to be fair then you need to add your own deal breakers to the list. Actually write it together and if he refuses? Well NOW there's a control issue with the relationship.
Yudith 28
If "name of fiance" says or implies that OP is getting fat, old, or ugly, OP will record every subsequent conversation with said fiance. If "name of fiance" says or implies that OP is getting fat, old, or ugly ON TAPE, that is ground for divorce, and OP will get everything.
49_Donuts 15
What’s in the pre-nup about HIM going veggie/vegan?
DLBL 23
Or if he becomes an utter carnivore?