Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML
Opheliae tells us more.
Opheliae 22
Wow, I can't believe this got posted so soon, haha. Anyway, the beau had already purchased his beverage of choice earlier without getting anything for me, so we went back. I gave him cash to pay for my portion, which is why I know he didn't sign a credit card receipt because I watched him pay cash through the window. Not to mention they were smiling and talking for a solid 4 or 5 minutes, and he was on his way out when the cashier called him back, and that's when I saw him write it down. We've been exclusive for 8 months. Before that he had been single and livin' that bachelor life for nearly 4 years, so sometimes he gets out of line and I gotta reel him back in. When I asked him about it in the car, he said she was attending the same concert as us in the fall and wanted to meet up. When I told him my misgivings, he agreed and promised not to text her back if she contacted him. It's all good.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
etishuman22 32
And then you dumped him and took the liquor for yourself, right?
MGITSWFTC 17
Smash open a bottle of beer on his dumbass head and leave him passed out in a gutter. Or just dump him, that works too
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Comments (176)
jlg337 11
six
Tylerj1124 12
No you were actually one, albeit a sorry excuse of it.
etishuman22 32
Hey, at this exact moment (4:03 CST) you are negative six. So you're close?
BossPathfinderGM 14
Don Juan he is not.
RedPillSucks 33
Keith Stone??? Smooth
debbster7 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He's a keeper.
tranced_ 45
absolutely.
McNikk 15
...not
sasyquin 13
people it was a sarcasm
etishuman22 32
And then you dumped him and took the liquor for yourself, right?
JACKxRAWR 22
And then hosted a massive party for FML users that we're all invited to?
etishuman22 32
If that were me, I would so do that.
JACKxRAWR 22
Do it! :D
etishuman22 32
Would you help me clean up afterward? I can picture it now... "Today, I woke up with a massive hangover and a trashed house. Last night, I invited the FML community over for a party at a fellow FML-er's urging. He not only puked on my couch and in my sink, but he refused to help clean up after he promised to days beforehand. FML"
Opheliae 22
Ain't no party like an FML party.
JACKxRAWR 22
Hey, I'm offended. I'm great at cleaning up after myself! ;)
btothel 4
and then he sues you for property losses and potentially nervous shock
meecaf 7
you are so evil -.-"
PinkieKeen 20
OMG OP, why would your bf flirt with another woman, ur so pretty
iGottaFindBubbah 12
Dump his sorry ass. What a jerk :/
Damian95 16
I don't think there is enough info in this fml. Maybe checking with the cashier to see what happened would be smart before makin any rash moves.
Pstraka6 20
What is with the shitty men in todays FML's geez. OP tell slimeball to keep the number for a cheap dinner date with her. You deserve WAY better
etishuman22 32
Well this is FML, unfortunately most of the men that are FML'd about are shitty. There are a some that are funny and cool, but most are shitty.
Pstraka6 20
Touchè
assassinbanana0 20
What about all the shitty women, also? Women are just as bad. It's not always the guys
etishuman22 32
That's just as true, but we're talking about men because it applies directly to this specific FML.
Mossears133 15
Well nobody writes FMLs about the good ones
MGITSWFTC 17
Smash open a bottle of beer on his dumbass head and leave him passed out in a gutter. Or just dump him, that works too
Fireashes250 16
I like your first plan though.
Zeishah 26
well then the ' romantic night ' didn't happen..right op?
misspulkadot24 17
Yes it did! With road head on the way home!
MateRicks 18
Next time he wants you to go down on him bite his thing off
RedPillSucks 33
Damn! That's a bit harsh, no?
MateRicks 18
Meh first thing that came to mind
Nyx_fml 23
If the first thing that comes to mind is a dick being bitten then you must have some interesting fantasies.
MateRicks 18
Hehe maybe
CrissyyyS2 22
Better ask him that he only flirted to get a discount... right?
weekdaywarrior 3
kinda gives him a ready made excuse no?
Fmlsea 28
he shouldn't be flirting at all .