Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Hellooooo, Social Services?
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Paper-thin walls
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML
Potty drama
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Boys will be annoying boys
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Top comments
Dopeyrox 0
your kid sounds like a brat
xenomorph 0
1. Find a way to neutralize the smell, perhaps vinegar. 2. Apply the substance to the computer, then dry off. 3. ???? 4. PROFIT!!!!!!!
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Comments (103)
fuckducks 0
did you beat his ass with a toaster? you need better parenting skills. seriously if I had a child who did tht I wud throw him out a ******* 10 story building. OMG CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES!!1!1!! HOLY ****** SHIT
michigan12207 0
HA yeah im sure it was your kid. you were masterbating in front of the computer and jizzed all over the dam computer screen and keypad. Dam your a loser, you probably adopted your ugly ass baby cuz your a peice of shit and cant have kids. You dont have a spouse cuz no one would want to be with your ugly fat ass and your fungus infested genitals. just keep playin with yourself cuz you are a loser peice of shit waste of life loser freak monkey queer hill billy spear chucker knuckle dragger moon cricket fag
leadrunner751 3
let him play his Barney games! you brought this upon yourself
PimpdaddyCJT 13
don't mess with them I told my nephew to stop chewing on the blanket he got off went on te floor crawled over to me and bit my leg
Nooneslooking 0
I was fully potty trained in 2 days when I was only 2. :D my dad was the best.
MissXxBipolarXx 0
And yet another reason why I don't want kids...when they get revenge, they get revenge!
nadiel_fml 0
I got spanked as a kid. Never beat, but spanked. And my parents let my friends parents spank me to. I respected adults, always got good grades, never got in fights, never got detention, and now have an awesme job. I learned to respect authority young, and learned consequences. I'm proof it works
yandizzle 0
well he would watch me play Barney's game for a week. hmph kids these days. that's what we get for birthing them and feeding them and making sure they backfired and food...Oh I know that he is just a toddler but if he can pee on the cpu he can learn how to pee in the toilet
fml_mu 10
Whoop his ass!! :D
rachelg6188 0
Wow at 4 the little man should have been potty trained for at least a year already