Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
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Top comments
WonkeyDonkey 10
Good job! I think they deserved it and the $500 you have to pay was worth every cent ;)
SkoomaKi 28
They'll never mess with you again, that's worth more I reckon.
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Comments (201)
ninjalovin 8
Actually I would have done it differently ... I would have sneaked around and silently laid out a perimeter of mouse traps. I would then go to the balcony and throw a paint grenade into the pool which would immediately grab their attention. Then in true Scarface style I'd pull out my paintball gun and scream " MEET MY LITTLE FRIEND !!! " while unleashing a disastrous rainbow of doom.
dontpanic_fml 32
But you have to get the quote right while doing it
MissVeracity 12
Well, at least I don't think they're coming back :)
Nave42 7
I don't know. If it were me, I'd go back just because the experience seems pretty fun.
CharresBarkrey 16
21 - They're saying what OP paid for is a ticket to their own game of paintball
chabelo 10
what a nice way to kick them out
robotiick7 23
Ydi the 500dollars of reparations but they won't be coming back
SkepticalMiss 5
Why the hell kind of rounds were you using thy you managed to 'paint their backs'? Paintball rounds sting like a bitch, no-one would leave their back exposed to that for long enough to get painted.
Jharrist89 12
Some guns are able to fire like 3 balls a second. I'm sure that was the case. Besides, have you ever tried to run out of a pool?
fischerxx 10
3 balls a second would be like a pump gun (very slow). Tournament guns can shoot 20 to 30 a second.
Jharrist89 12
I still bet it was worth watching them pay for trespassing! Good job op!
avapaige1234 19
Much better than staining your pool with blood using a revolver.
Jemm_fml 29
You definitely deserved it, but so did they. Everyone's a winner!
Wizzlbang 10
What's with all the YDI's? They were trespassing. Depending on the state OP is in, he could have used a real gun legally. I wonder if blood is harder to clean out of a pool than paint?