Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
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Top comments
WonkeyDonkey 10
Good job! I think they deserved it and the $500 you have to pay was worth every cent ;)
SkoomaKi 28
They'll never mess with you again, that's worth more I reckon.
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Comments (201)
iamsolid 11
So worth it!
KBurns207 17
**** yeah that would've definitely been worth it. Good job OP
caro1ina48 13
I would have shot them too even if I knew it would cost $500. Totally worth, I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces!
Deviant_fml 5
Way to take out the trash OP. Lucky you didn't beam them in the eye though, seeing as they weren't wearing protection and undoubtedly looked to see what was hitting them. Their parents would of sued the shit out of you if you'd of crippled someone. $500 is damn cheap in comparison.
Raykyogrou03 12
How do you "repair" water?
goose12321 11
By rebalancing all the chemical levels etc
phoneYuNOlisten 16
But worth it
goose12321 11
I applaud your actions standing up to the pricks, they won't be coming back anytime soon, but you've gotta be careful because copping a paintball to the face can blind you or knock out teeth and the last thing you want to be doing is paying them money in compensation. Still, I wish I could've been there to see it.
g4m30v3r 11
Since you live in Illinois it's not legal yo kill them but you are entitled to use bodily force to extradite them from your property. Good job I woulda refilled the hopper and chased them down the block
cna1216 15
Totally worth it! Dont mess with the OP!
monkiki62 5
How is this ydi? Op did what they had to do. I Wouldn't want some kids trying to swim in my pool and the way kids are these days it probably would have done no good if op just tried yelling at them. Im sure they would retort with a smartass comment instead of leaving.
kyoyaotori 7
In my opinion, OP deserved it because they were not thinking. Instead of going out and asking them to leave, or even calling the cops to remove them from the premises after they trespassed, OP went to the poorer choice of using PAINT. It should have been obvious that the paint would stain and damage the pool, and that it would have had to have been repaired. Plus, unless they were doing a lot of harm, OP could have waited the few minutes for cops to come fetch them.