Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
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Top comments
lolol182 4
why the hell would she leave it on? infront of your parents, no less
Chrisham 0
#1: That's the point... She let his parents listen in
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Comments (77)
horyo 0
Better your parents than kids.
scarlett_fml 0
WHAT is wrong with your parents that they didn't shout at your girlfriend not tobe such a tool?
scarlett_fml 0
Susitute Wife for GF in above post...
_Elizabeth_ 0
Hmm. Can't you tell when you're on speaker? Maybe not everyone..anyway, HAHAHAHA. I agree with #30. And maybe refrain from saying stuff when you know she's with your parents?
holynemesis1208 3
your father must have been so proud.
cmoney09 0
Haha, that sucks man, but you gotta laugh! but maybe next time you should just save that sortof dirty talk for a text message, or actually the bed! lol! I feel ya though.
housemaster 0
that b*tch!
love_to_lose09 0
I use to call my ex-fiance all the time and talk very very dirty to him while he was out in public. I LOVED thinking of him all hard with a bunch of people around him :P
Sessee 4
1. Why would you call her in the middle of lunch with your parents? 2. Why would you call her to "tell her all the nasty things you were going to do to her in bed" in the middle of lunch with your parents?
ddr_fml 0
awsome