Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
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Top comments
ruabadfishtoo 0
Well, at least your neighbours were humorous about it. Still, invest in soundproof walls.
KingDingALing 9
Toss him a packet of Viagra and say "Now you can re-live those days."
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Comments (89)
awkwardadvances 1
That's the greatest thing anyone has ever said.
ellytoad 13
Quiet down. -_-
jjmiller1001 17
that is awesome.... why is it an FML?
crazytwinsmom 25
Loud noisy sex doesn't mean a long happy marriage. My parents were married over 50 years going at it quietly 2-3 times a week. They probably still would be if Dad hadn't passed away. But the loudest person I've ever heard only lasted 15 years in her first marriage. Just be glad they have a sense of humor.
gregkingsley 4
Awkward but hilarious
karen1991 15
Oh my ****..
vbmg152 19
Loud means nothing!!! Love means everything! My hubby & I had a great sex life until due to circumstances beyond our control, it was no longer possible! We still love & respect each other! We expect to be married another 24 yrs! And no, Viagra won't help!
laden_swallow09 35
Needless exclamation points don't drive home your point any faster.
whatwhyhoo 10
Why is this a FML?
carmel1110 12
Go Carol.
s810s_waitin 1
I wonder if she uses color safe bleach.
soad2014 7
Old people with a sense of humor. I like your neighbors! It may be embarrassing, but no FML here. Enjoy your new friends. :)