Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
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Top comments
ruabadfishtoo 0
Well, at least your neighbours were humorous about it. Still, invest in soundproof walls.
KingDingALing 9
Toss him a packet of Viagra and say "Now you can re-live those days."
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Comments (89)
zuelhater 7
It might be time to consider insulating the walls better!!!
jhouserocker 6
Haha awesome old man
buckdharma 38
i remember one time i went to slap carol on her arse. well i missed and plowed right into the ole Hudson Hornet. things are vague after that like they never even happened.
Wiringify 22
"I could have lived without knowing that"
KiddNYC1O 22
You should introduce them to adult channels on-demand.
uhnevermind 24
Am I the only one who thinks OP is getting trolled by this old couple? XD
Bliss391 7
Y A
Sai_Run614 7
At least you now know what you will look like in the future and what your sex life will be like as well. :)
omart3 6
Am I the only one who doesn't understand why this is FML? I mean yeah, it can be embarrassing to be heard by others, but it's not that bad! if anything, they should be proud to have a great, loud sex life!
Liamj774 36
Ask her she transformed from a squawking parrot into a human