Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I told my mom I lost 30 pounds because of an eating disorder. She told me to keep up the good work. FML
Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML
Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML
Today, my friend was complaining to me that she's gained 20 pounds and it's all gone to her butt and boobs. Meanwhile, I've also gained 20 pounds, and it's gone straight to my stomach. She looks better than she did before. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Don't leave us hanging, OP, what happened? Was it curtains for her cooter, or does the pendulum still swing?
saIty 17
Tell her to pull it back with some rubberbands and clothespins.
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Comments (100)
FYLDeep 26
And this is one reason why I'd never want to be fat. Once you get to where you'd need to lose 30 pounds or more, you're probably going to have a damn hard time ever making your midsection look normal. Even those people from the Biggest Loser who get the skin cut off never look right with their shirts off.
thats_my_job 11
Judgmental much?
tabbycat2007 22
Actually 25, if you lose weight through exercise and diet, your skin in most cases would go back to normal on it's own, since it's a long process and your skin has time to gradually shrink back. But when people get lapband or gastric bypass surgery, they lose weight so rapidly that their skin can't keep up, causing it to hang.
RealZA_fml 20
laziness has its downside I guess.
Ugi 27
Sometimes the borders of the land of too much information are a little blurred. This is not one of them. She's a week's march across the border and laying siege to the capital with that one! FYL.
ICastillo 25
I'm just throwing this out there but maybe if your mom jumps off her house she can probably fly with all the extra skin like a flying squirrel.
christyxbee 15
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's!.... My MOM?!?
ICastillo 25
Yeah but I don't think it would be a pretty sight at all...
LexieWins 0
Awesome!
astralvagan 20
Some things can't be unseen or unimagined!
DocBastard 40
Ah, those Laparoscopic Bands are great. Very quick, simple, and rather effective. Now if only someone made a Lap Stupid.
mosquito19 14
like dogs' ear
SwtCherryPie 26
That is just disgusting... I dont know your mom but that is still a terrible mental image.
nancyschmancy 9
Now she has flap door! Ick!
lulzcoaster 3
i would love to get sloppy kisses from that clam, i bet it looks it its swallowing meat when shes on top those fat lips
pennies_lane 6
You are disturbed!
Jaxx66 21
That's absolutely worse than the FML itself. My brain is making terrible images! >_<
lulzcoaster 3
her camel toe is elephant ears now