Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML
Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
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Top comments
camer0n15 8
Sue them
DocBastard 40
It took you an entire hour to check out why your balls were getting stabbed? Sorry, but if I ever feel like I'm getting a scrotum piercing, I'm going to immediately find out why. I'm not sure who is more stupid - you or the person who left the needle there.
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Comments (163)
FatTony2010 4
Hope your gentleman's vegetables do not resemble a colander! That was foolish of them!
Ninetales247 2
That'll explain the blood in the pool.
LilysTillie 7
You deserve it for waiting an hour to see what was going on!!
undrtheblnkt 0
School on a Sunday...sucks
HockeyChamp101 0
is it just me or does this seem fake... First of all you would have seen blood Second of all the pain of a needle jabbing your balls would be too much to handle for over an hour Third of all bathing suits are NEVER hand sewn.. they're made by machines so they make them quicker and they don't have to pay anyone to do it.. plus even if there was a needle there it would have DEFINITELY fallen out I may be wrong.. im just sayin
jingajanga 0
Sew I mean sue them....close call there
deathbyfudge 0
You waited an hour with a needle stabbing you repeatedly?! That had to kill. :(
boredfishing 0
Surprise! You have an STD
bobchickenfart 5
sounds like a fancy swuimsuit if they hand stitched it!
thomassanford 0
You should sue m No doubt