Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML
Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
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Top comments
camer0n15 8
Sue them
DocBastard 40
It took you an entire hour to check out why your balls were getting stabbed? Sorry, but if I ever feel like I'm getting a scrotum piercing, I'm going to immediately find out why. I'm not sure who is more stupid - you or the person who left the needle there.
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Comments (163)
bizarre_ftw 22
You know (according to a genius) the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results right? Just saying, we should all probably hope that needle nicked something important....
rhysfucker 24
Kind of a Darwinian nut needle? Nice.
u_mad_bro_fml 13
That designer must have been one careless idiot. File a claim, or take it to court! Heck, do both if you must! It would have been smarter to check sooner though, otherwise, you could have, ya know...sat down or something and jabbed it deeper in there.. yeesh, talk about painful.. *cringe*
spoilt_ 15
Hardly the designers fault
cup_of_squirrels 6
Are you kidding me? The designer left a SEWING NEEDLE in the crotch of the swim shorts! And you're saying that it isn't the designer's fault. I don't really see your logic.
spoilt_ 15
A designer designs clothes. Manufacturers make the clothes, therefore not the designers fault. Get it?
funnynesh 10
I thumbed up my own comment :3
Stahrgeyzer 8
I thumbed down your comment. 3:
unicorn69 0
Dude wtf your restarted!! FYL
GoW_Chick 15
Your comment made me laugh at it's attempt to be insulting. XD * you're * retarded
vivsavage 2
And you're stupid for not noticing that in your attempt to correct the comment's OP, you missed that it said "your restarted." In that sense, it would be you're retarded*.
t765234 10
60-What the hell are you talking about.
beelee1988 13
60 - She was correcting each word seperately. How does that make her stupid?
pdp_fml 21
YDI, op, why wouldn't you excuse yourself and check what was hurting you down there?
savannahalex05 0
PE? School on weekends? Some people and making up stories.
cherryllollo 7
who sews by hand anymore?? use a machine!
Jazzy_B34r 12
ow....ow....ow....you're smart...
jellyD 1
A full hour? Preparing for some piercings?
Piet1991 7
When I read that, my balls just retracted. Im sorry dude...