Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
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Top comments
survivalism 0
And? He's four, four-year-olds are jerks and need their ass kicked.
vxjazz 0
What the hell did you do to him anyway? I certainly didn't go around demanding people's deaths when I was four.
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Comments (118)
Jimboom 12
Tell him "You first"
RaphX 0
Insult him back. Make him cry.
MissNicky_fml 0
do not have kids asshole
Tehalon 0
#10, the smart ones do.
rocket9 0
hes a brat
padlarf 14
Another one of those kids fml. Get the hell over it!
eliz3 0
What did you tell him to use words for? So you WANT him to start mouthing off at you? You are a complete idiot.
crunkk426 0
why does this stuff keep getting approved? he's four and he was mad at you. not fml.
onigiriqueen 0
YDI because you're a pussy hippie douche who can't handle a 4-year old.
KilgoreTrout_fml 0
YDI for using such a cliche as "Use your words". You'd be surprised how much more maturely kids act if you talk to them more maturely. Explain it to them straight and even if they don't understand it completely they'll be much more receptive to the idea.
Seti_fml 0
YDI. When he talks back to you slap him and then tell him "do as i say, not as i do."