Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He says he can’t be with someone who doesn’t love his dog as much as he does. I told him that I have absolutely no problem with the dog being in the room, but it makes me uncomfortable when the dog is on the bed while we have sex. Apparently, that’s unreasonable. FML
Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
Today, I was really excited because the guy I was seeing invited me over for sex. His house was messy, but I looked past that. The final straw was he wouldn’t make his dog get off the bed so we could get it on. He actually got offended and told me to leave because, “What? She’s just lying there.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
I display dominance over my dog simply by making her roll over so I can rub her belly, but whatever floats your boat.
luismyl 6
When I began reading I thought the dog was going to jump in too. That would have been a worst fml.
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Comments (145)
fuzz97 23
This is like the opposite of what happened to me last night
thagar 2
This could be a reference to an american dad episode
killjoy64 4
belive it or not. humans need to asurt there dominance to get the animal to respect them, if not the dog will do what ever they want
bizarre_ftw 22
Exactly, and how else other than sex can someone like this guy, who doesn't know the difference between there and their, expect to make their dog respect and obey them? If I was a dog I doubt even that would do it.
QueenMichael 16
He wants the dog to watch him having sex? You should be happy it's just a status thing and not a fetish thing.
xAmyPOPx 4
What can you expect from an ugly, sweaty creature, really..
Starfiji 0
What a perv
SpruceDread4578 13
..What? That doesn't make him a perv. He's having sex with his girlfriend and he's idea of dominance over the dog is by letting it watch and somehow you think he's a perv? Okay.
bubo_fml 11
I once saw a bunch of dogs mount each other at the same time, bucking for dominance...It looked like a ******' chorus line/fudge train...I wonder when Rover will want to play engineer!!
zaleh 23
Dominance is everything in the animal kingdom. So you should support yours. :)
bizarre_ftw 22
She should tie him up and **** him in front of the dog? I'm sorry sir, what are you suggesting? Because last time I read the FML it was the boyfriend trying to prove his dominance to the dog by ******* his girlfriend aka op (which in it's own right suggests quite a few things are lacking with this guy)
32enos 0
WOW only in Texas I swear!!
elocin999 4
wow. sorry. i think u should break up with him. thanks for the fml. made me laugh. is it funni or sad u decide.