Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He says he can’t be with someone who doesn’t love his dog as much as he does. I told him that I have absolutely no problem with the dog being in the room, but it makes me uncomfortable when the dog is on the bed while we have sex. Apparently, that’s unreasonable. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me only two weeks after he moved into my place, because his massive German shepherd keeps running scared from my cat. Apparently, I ruined his dog by letting my cat be dominant to him, and it’s all my fault his dog is a wuss. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I was really excited because the guy I was seeing invited me over for sex. His house was messy, but I looked past that. The final straw was he wouldn’t make his dog get off the bed so we could get it on. He actually got offended and told me to leave because, “What? She’s just lying there.” FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I dumped my boyfriend. He responded with kidnapping my dog while I was at work. He texted me a picture of him holding a piece of chocolate to his mouth, threatening to feed it to him if I didn’t get back with him. I took him back because I can’t bear my life without my dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
Today, my boyfriend apparently lied to me when he'd said we could get a dog one day. I bought a puppy for him in secret but as soon as he saw it he was all, "What the hell is that? We’re not keeping it." It’s now with his parents, as he didn’t want it overnight or even in the house. FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
I feel like it's just tradition to just make up a reason to breakup with someone. If he told you the real reason things might get ugly real quick.
nammavic1 12
That’s his threesome fantasy right there. 🤢
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Comments (5)
Brightside86 31
I feel like it's just tradition to just make up a reason to breakup with someone. If he told you the real reason things might get ugly real quick.
nammavic1 12
That’s his threesome fantasy right there. 🤢
Charlie Given 28
Well either this was an excuse to break up or your ex bf has some issues that ya probably don't want to be involved with. No normal pet owner would want their pets staring at them or possibly clawing or biting them when they're trying to be intimate with their SO. (unless of course he has some sort of sick twisted animal fetish and wanted you to join 😨🤢)
Jonkbaby 23
My wife tried to initiate sexy time, and I just couldn't allow myself to cause the cat was in the room
Wadlaen 24
I agree - it sounds a bit weird. That's not the normal kind of doggystyle...
JasonThorn 23
I suspect that he needs it. So when he's having sex with his girlfriend, he's THINKING about the dog...