Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that in order for me to be considered for marriage, I need to prove that I can be a subservient woman. This includes signing over the deed to my house, my car, and all my banking assets, so that he can be “the man of the house.” I make 6 figures; he rents with roommates. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never seems to have his own opinion, always agrees with me, and does whatever I want. That’s when he admitted he’s scared of me and is terrified of saying or doing anything I won’t like. I have no idea what I did to scare him this badly. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
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Top comments
muahzzbaybee 0
break up with him
baronjman 2
he should "get used to" not having a GF anymore......you can do better
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Comments (405)
muahzzbaybee 0
break up with him
thor89 0
Who says 2.5 ??????
ilovebradiew 0
ME ;D
null_fml 11
#5: People with a 300-character limit.
dudeitsdanny 10
FYL for dating him if he wasn't kidding. YDI if he's still your boyfriend. Then again, some girls seem to like the abuse.
thor89 0
Or he can just date his hand
astheworldfalls 0
Girl you've got to leave him while you still have the chance. Before you know it he will be beating you like a dog.
justmeagirl 0
YDI for dating him. DTMFA, and if he comes after you, call the damn cops. Or if you're just accepting life with a sicko as 'fml', get ready to be abused and probably murdered, too.
powersmoke 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh, he is awesome. I'd like to shake his hand.
ZachIsASaint 1
He's reading PUA bullshit, and misunderstanding it in the worst way. Google gamebreakers and put him in his place.
Starfire22 5
well, op, at least he told you ahead of time how ge feels :) now go dump him, they usually don't make it this easy!
spitfire35 3
a) Tell him your not a dog. b) Tell him he's going to be using his hand hand from now on and to get used to THAT.
Reality_bites 14
^ this ^
degco44 0
I smell rebellion... Fight on, O opressed one! I agree with these folks. Dump that ****** who has a piece of string where his wanger should be.
l1douchhe1l 0
ydi for being a woman everybody knows women are lesser beings tomen
Drummer389000 0
and then snap it off right?
Drummer389000 0
109 - you're a lesser being you shriveled dick **** licker.
iSwag 0
this sort of thing doesn't happen on team Edward lol
Endless89 2
No, he will be beating you like the Alpha Dog beats the Beta Dog lol
TuM_TuM 0
shoulda slapped him with yur steak and left...well take the steak with...dont waste that
dailee95 0
nice pic
randomdude1234 0
Tell him that he's now single and that he should "get used to it."
TrekkieGirl 0
If he's still your boyfriend after saying some nonsense like that, then you totally deserve everything you get from that loser.
Owndapwn 0
******
J_sMomx3 0
Amen to that.
quikwit1212 0
Well, the bright side is that since they're both dogs, they can now have fun doggy style.
capilot 10
#37 speaks truth. PLEASE tell us you dumped his psycho ass.
wallythedolly 0
it's called a character limit.
seafea 0
Surprised nobody has posted a "It's because Edward is gay! lawl!" joke here yet.
toxic10uhc 0
#50... ooh honey chyle! (I'm calling you a steriotypical black lady )
moneypenny_fml 0
well no shit he's right so ydi for being ignorant
Menick47 0
Dump his ass!
mylifeblows32 0
that's right bitch keep ur mouth shut
Kris1987_fml 0
lol he owned you like Cesar owns dogs. did he go "tsssst" and pinch your neck?
defsdgdh 4
LMAO OMFG SO FUNNY. and op. get used to it bitch
pitbullmom 0
thats when you smack him upside the head with a bottle, piss on him and ask 'who's alpha now bitch?' that should help establish dominance. but seriously, I agree you should leave before he does become violent.
AlaskaRaven 0
I had an abusive ex hubby- which is what you're on the way to having. I told him I could kill him when ever I wanted, that he had to sleep sometime. He knew I liked my french knife, too. You should tell EVERYONE YOU BOTH KNOW what he said AS YOU DUMP HIS ASS publicly-- say, a family gathering, a party, etc....
hippo23 0
yeah break up with him, he is clearly a looser... and that is really sexist
97roses 0
you are a dick and probably will never get laid.
cookiemobzta 0
YDI for being a female
appIeiphone 0
lmao?
youngcat24 0
id break up w his ass so quick. damn if you're still with him ydi.
Artemis_Huntress 0
No, it doesn't happen on Team Edward, instead you get a bi-polar, abusive boyfriend with stalker-like tendencies that's so possessive it's unhealthy and who gets jealous of pretty much everyone.
KRYPTON1T3 5
creep. break up.
PrincessesCrown 17
I would thumb you up, but you're team Jacob.
WordAficionada 19
Agreed! I'm reading this a couple of days after what Elliott Rodgers did after releasing his 'manifesto'. It's scary and horrendous to think that anyone would view another human as worthy of less respect.
moomonkeymatters 0
What a creep!
ISLIM_SHADYI 0
First off who the **** counts 2.5 she is the ******* creep, damn beta dog needs a shock collar
AngryNinja 1
she has a character limit. typing out two an a half years takes up a lot of characters. it's not creepy, it's demeaning and op needs to dump that asswipe, and get a bunch if her girls together to kick his ass. show him just how 'low' women like to be. -_-
Aggriken 0
I think she's the creep for being out of the kitchen long enough to write his FML.
cozcat 0
Aaaaaaaand **** you too.
Time_spiral 0
this guy sounds smart.. i think you should pay close attention to what he has to say. oh and practice making sandwiches, it could save your relationship.
J_sMomx3 0
I can't believe people still think like that and even have the balls to say it!! Are you for real! my bet is you are still single.
ortega_fml 0
That's a real man right there.
grovyle210 3
WTF
sadistmonkey 19
kitchens can have wifi too
bigdickprick 0
Truer words have never been spoken #87.
anonymous042490 0
hell yea
imortal20 0
creep... yeah I guess... guess he likes doggie style? FYL op
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Chauvanists, man....
CantusVulpis 12
I hope she punched him. Lol at 88!
Stumblebum30 5
Definitely time for a new guy.
ladiesman14 0
your boyfriend is a great guy. maybe you wont get fat if you stick with him.
Drummer389000 0
104 - you take it up the ass.
ImaginaryFoe 1
It sounds like he was trying to give you a reason to break up with him because he didn't have the stones to do it himself.
FeedtheBrood 0
And you didn't leave him right then and there?
Str3amingcolors 0
baha, yes pleAse
pwnageberry 0
I really hope all you sexist sounding douchebags are just people with a terrible sense of humor... I didn't know that many dumbasses still existed!
baronjman 2
he should "get used to" not having a GF anymore......you can do better
grovyle210 3
yeah he's gonna get used to being alone
lululatenight 28
Dump his ass!
MizMayhem 0
dump that sexist bastard, but kick him hard enough to make sure he will never have children first
n00bowner 0
That was good.
LightWater 0
Dude, I've had pain for three days following a particularly successful knee in the balls, also been hit by a steel lunchbox. I seriously doubt it is equivocal to squeezing a person out your ******.
AngryNinja 1
except our ****** rip and have to be sewn, and the baby is around 7-10 pounds. no, a kick/lunchbox in the balls is much worse. ******* dumbass. -_-
XDNurse 0
roflmfao!!! "squeezing a person out of your ******" win comment
quietlytearful 0
70 said that very well. "sqeezing a person out.." Lol. #70 ftw:D
taycandy96 2
and most women are in labor for like 12-20 hours
Darwinawardwinne 0
Except that you're all drugged up and prepared while giving birth while we get ninja-struck in the family jewels without the aid of pain medication.
babybubz 0
not everyone is 'drugged up' giving birth you douche.. and drugs or no drugs you can still die.
LightWater 0
Christ I need to watch my wording, the whole point of my post was that although I've been cracked in the nuts good and hard, I don't think it was going to ever compare... as labour is clearly worse!
Maddoctor 10
I thought that's what you meant when I first read your comment...but yeah the wording might have thrown some people off.
LightWater 0
Glad that not everyone got the wrong end of the stick!
darkmis1 18
You're right-it's not the same as giving birth. Giving birth is a helluva lot worse. And before you say that it only lasts a few hours, and you were in pain for three days, why don't you think about the fact that a woman is pregnant for NINE MONTHS! That's nine months of pain-a lot less than three days.
f_alltheirlives 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your bitching alot, sure he didn't say "BetaBitch"?
grovyle210 3
what the hell this guy is horrible not the OP
mk58 31
So.... 8 believes this is acceptable behavior from the boyfriend? Huh.
hk_fml 9
Time for him to get used to not having a girlfriend. You need to find a less douchebaggy boyfriend.
sexyandboard 0
well actually u may think that's bad but the submissive partner is really in control ;)
jennjennsofly 7
ahhhaha fyl time for a new bf or get used to being a beta dog
EllyH 0
wow, he is a cave man or what? dump him. get out. run. What can I say? he is sick
lululatenight 28
Watch out, he might start dragging you around by the hair....
aeslehc_ 0
He obviously will never love anyone more than he loves himself. Dump him.