Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML
Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
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Top comments
ihasbrains 10
At least it wasn't your balls
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.
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Comments (303)
SirBedevere 0
A black belt won't stop a short knee.
PrincessesCrown 17
Wanna know why? Most karate places only see if you can do the correct move in the air. However the one I used to go to, the teacher made us perform the move on her. She would only move us up if we had the strength. In her class the average time it took to become a black belt was 17 years. Only then could you get your license to kill!
TKrisha_fml 5
Be happy it wasn't a bit south
ogle5431 1
in the shins?
PrincessesCrown 17
no ****-tard in the toes
icantellu 7
It wasn't like you were gonna start using your skills on a 6th grader so get over it?
lulututu 4
Very true,
Clover2009 0
I think the point was saying that he was in a high-class rank in martial arts, yet still got his ass kicked by a sixth grader. Where in the world did OP say he was in a fight with the kid?
stevenmx86 8
I don't care if you're a damn ninja, if you get kneed in the stomach you'll probably have trouble breathing...
tatflo 0
maybe Ur color blind... sorry tho
pieintheface 0
retard, colour blind people see in shades, so he would still see black
sheethapins 13
Blind people wouldn't see black in their shades, they wouldn't see period. Hence being blind. Both of you fail.
lobojojo 1
If you reread the comment you would know that they said COLOR blind. So in all reality you are the one who failed
steveakafranxy 7
#44, I believe the term you were looking for was "color blind." YOU FAIL
sheethapins 13
Think you should be talking to the guy above my post who thinks blind people see in black shades. Read. Access.
pieintheface 0
I think COLOUR blind people see in shades. COLOUR BLIND people
agummere796 0
having some weight issues?
antoinemartinez 0
taekwond deeze nuts!!!
the_glyda 0
Pussy.
ryanchew3 0
well I do fell sorry for you about that, n however... I do fell the need to tell you that taekwondo is a sport that focuses on the legs. yes it does help the abdominal region but overall it's kinda like a one sided martial art that trains one part of the body than the rest.