Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML
Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
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Top comments
ihasbrains 10
At least it wasn't your balls
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.
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Comments (303)
sniperkit 10
You know, if the kid catches you off guard, it won't matter where they knee you. I once got hit in the back of the head with a volleyball because some kid kicked it, and because I didn't expect it I was hyperventilating. YDI for bitching about it when it's not that big of a deal.
momo1972 3
are you suppose to NOT underestimate your opponent? And your a black belt? time for a refresher course I think
Glassmaster 0
Knowing how to use Tae Kwon Do in a gym does not equate to using it in a combat situation. Especially when it's combat with someone who's so much younger than you that you'd look even worse if you were able to hurt him
BigOrca 2
omfgtacosyess u r so right.
samiboy9 0
yeah us grade 6 ers can kill XD but thar is kinda sad but if you had beat them or somthin then moreso
Cegal 0
sounds like you need to work on your reaction time...that or don't hang around little kids...
Scooter42 15
Any taekwondo I've seen in north america is no good for self defense anyway is all geared to tournament style semi-contact rules. I was in a tournament once the whistle blew every five seconds because my kung fu were all illegal, like catching a kick
zelricthestrong 4
You must have not been paying very much attention to Kung Fu Panda 2. For one, your talking pissed off a sixth grader who was trying to watch a film, and two, it's KUNG FU. It's in the ******* title for Pete's sake!
firedragon8675 0
just cause your a black belt don't mean you can't have the wind knocked out of you lol
KARMAREBEL 0
wait what grade are u in......