Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML
Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
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Top comments
ihasbrains 10
At least it wasn't your balls
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.
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Comments (303)
madkatter117 0
Taekwondo is USELESS. A bunch of pretty kicks. Woo, I can beat up the air! You can't use it for self defense. i have at least 10 friends with blackbelts in taekwondo and we spar for fun. I don't take a martial art, fighting or anything similar and never have and I beat them up in maybe ten seconds.
sheababy92 0
as a martial artist, I can tell you that most places these days will move you up a belt as long as you keep paying them. they don't care if you learn a thing. and yes TKD does focus primarily on kicks, however, it doesn't completely leave out the arms. you still learn punches and blocks.
AnneAlysse 0
Wow. Sixth graders these days must be pretty badass! XD
LifeSucksChicken 0
it doesn't matter if it was a sixth grader, getting knead still hurts lol
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
You should NEVER piss off short people.
sipher16 0
I'm sure your instructor would be disappointed in your performance.
thechief50 0
how that treating you ya pussy? you need to learn how to fight not defend dumbass!!!
Magnimus 4
Fake black belts are a dime a dozen. YDI, OP.
blindfire14 0
Hahahaha that pathetic! Taekwondo is like the pussy dance of all martial arts! Learn a real martial art.
SACKERLAND 6
Why didn't you kill the little fag?