Today, my boyfriend refuses to do doggy style anymore because I, and I quote, "have a weird looking butthole, it’s not dirty or anything, it’s just the strangest butthole I’ve ever seen, it’s really distracting." So now, I’m not only self-conscious about my small boobs, but my ugly asshole too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure your anus is fine. The ugly asshole in this scenario is actually your boyfriend.
Mooglefox 24
You could tell him that he couldn’t be getting any.
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Comments (15)
RichardPencil 32
You can always work on your personality...and your ******. Accentuate the positive, right?
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure your anus is fine. The ugly asshole in this scenario is actually your boyfriend.
Mooglefox 24
You could tell him that he couldn’t be getting any.
TexasKitten79 6
Get a jeweled princess plug. Problem solved. You are welcome.
juggalo2 22
They have surgery for that. May want to have them fix the boobs, too, while they're at it.
tounces7 28
He's doing doggy style wrong if he's staring at your asshole the entire time.
jriley4u 17
Get a new boyfriend. Problem solved.
sickerthanyou 13
So do anal instead, that way your butthole may fix itself with a good pounding and your man wouldn’t be watching it all the time
Mellowyellow15 10
Tell him he has a small dick and dump his ass.
suntrkr 9
Stop wasting your time with a loser like that. There's plenty of guys who will treat you much better and appreciate all that you do them. Me included.