Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML
Today, I called my mom to let her know I was coming home for my upcoming birthday, as I haven’t seen my parents in months. She then stated she hated my birthday because it reminded her she was getting older, and they may have preexisting plans that evening anyways. Really feeling the family love… FML
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, I found out why my dad doesn't want my girlfriend coming to our house anymore. Apparently, her dad used to bully him a lot during high school and he's never gotten over it. He's threatened to disown me if she comes back over here. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML
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Top comments
MandyMeow_fml 18
Well, I hope you felt like a complete bitch, because you acted like a royal one.
tony1891 22
Happy birthday!
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Comments (50)
lina21 12
It seems they're the ones who have a few true and choice things to say about you now. It's one thing to not like them. It's another thing to let that spill. Grow up OP
Artures_way1 23
Well... Happy birthday OP!
redstone7693 29
That's pretty mean of you to say
shanannygians07 28
Hey... they shouldn't have been eavesdropping
sammiesorrow29 13
damn..... bitch mode activated
ezrajab 22
You are entitled to your personal feelings and all but never under any circumstances put someone else down you never know what situations may arise where you might need the individuals help and or guidance
Al3xv3l92 24
Well that escalated quickly.
lianhong 1
Think carefully before you act
amarie2009 22
So what did the bitch, the ***** and the moron gave you for your birthday??
shay_serendipity 29
Even if they weren't within earshot, OP was being a jackass anyways calling them all those things.