Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
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Top comments
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Gave my friend and his girlfriend a ride to his house back in highschool, as I was the only one in my group with a license and a car. Half way there they start doing the nasty and I was like really assholes? A sudden brake check was enough to ruin their mood.
Lobby_Bee 18
You were the third wheel in the fourth dimension for a brief moment. You broke physics.
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Comments (24)
colaman 4
You should have critiqued her method
skippydoda 32
And tell her what his friend likes instead.
tmj25789 23
now that's a classy lady right there.
sunshine1421 14
you didn't even have to pay for the premium channel pornhub will be disappointed
Cassidy Cahill 3
Should of joined 🤷🏼♀️
Krystal.xo 12
but it probably turned you on