sniperkit
Traverse City, United States
Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML
Top comments
heyitsvanessaa 9
Or start looking for a new roommate..
SApprentice 34
You supplied food, thereby raising your status in the pack. Feeling threatened, your alpha roommate has merely expressed her wish to reacertain her dominance by marking her territory- which includes you and all of your possessions. I suggest you puff yourself up as much as possible and maintain silent, steady eye contact with her. She may be stronger than you now, but if you seem threatening enough she won't want to fight you. Then, and only then, will you be able to live peacefully beside her within the confines of your lands.
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Comments (88)
heyitsvanessaa 9
Or start looking for a new roommate..
sirpantselot 22
I'd love to see a flatmate interview that starts with: "are you housebroken?"
tjv3 10
I would move out or kick her out
sniperkit 10
Thank you for the ever-wise insight, 64, as your input is always appreciated and never ******* annoying due to your Captain Obvious-esque remarks. She is indeed moving out, by the way.
5t3ff1k4h 47
^ This. I wish I could give this a thumbs up.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Me too
travinator90 9
Hopefully a better roommate will soon arrive. All a matter of luck with who you get.
iLike2Teabag 27
She's marking her territory. You better start doing the same.
MyNameIsViet 15
That's your roommate's way of telling you: "Don't worry I'll only act like this for nine months"
mimiminx 23
Get in there first!
hama806 19
You mean out of there, right? That roommate sounds batshit crazy and OP needs to get out of there and find a new roomie.
Dead_Fox 17
Get her a doggie pee pad. With any luck this will solve your problem.
CareFace 16
Negative. Op should buy a rug and say she loves it, place it outside. Thus, sorting the problem. In all seriousness though, I'd be getting out of there in a second.
Lordalucad 9
Tell her you love her. That'll teach her.
Wederoney 16
Yes, moseby the shit out of her
AssTard 15
10- Haha, yes! "The Ted Mosby" is guarenteed to work.
astralvagan 20
Sounds like she needs a nap..... Or start putting Xanax in her meal...
incendiaaa 23
how is it that everyone has insane roommates...
Wederoney 16
It's not that everyone has an insane roommate. You just never hear about the good ones. Especially not on FML
mackdeezy 22
Its better to be pissed off than.... on second thought, RUN, OP!
Wederoney 16
I hate ungrateful bastards... and crazy people. But most of all, I hate the combination of both.
SApprentice 34
You supplied food, thereby raising your status in the pack. Feeling threatened, your alpha roommate has merely expressed her wish to reacertain her dominance by marking her territory- which includes you and all of your possessions. I suggest you puff yourself up as much as possible and maintain silent, steady eye contact with her. She may be stronger than you now, but if you seem threatening enough she won't want to fight you. Then, and only then, will you be able to live peacefully beside her within the confines of your lands.
Quasar55_fml 18
That was quite an answer. it sounds surprisingly legit to me ..
sniperkit 10
I'll keep that in mind, thanks.
dukie420 4
I've had to do this once before as well