Today, I discovered why my new boyfriend likes his sex slow and loving, like super slow. It’s because, despite being in shape, he’s so unfit that if he tries to go hard and fast he struggles to breathe and passes out on top of me. Guess my love life is limited to one mile an hour now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after 5 years of marriage, my once-gym-mad husband is now so unfit that even standard missionary sex makes him so breathless and light headed, he has to stop in case he passes out. He hasn’t given me an orgasm in over a year and yet he insists nothing's wrong with him, and that I’m just being mean. FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML
Today, I find out why my long term boyfriend hasn't been interested in sex for the last three months. It’s because I’m "fat." While I could probably lose a few, I'm not obese and I'm the one who's encouraging healthy eating and exercise in our house. FML
Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poopface82 25
OK, so now’s a good time to have a come-to-Jesus moment with him. Be supportive but let him know it’s time to lose weight.
TXdude4503 2
why don’t you get on top then
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
ktd988 13
Get ontop!
ktd988 13
Get ontop
poopface82 25
OK, so now’s a good time to have a come-to-Jesus moment with him. Be supportive but let him know it’s time to lose weight.
og98327 1
so stop being lazy, get on top & ride him hard and fast till your toes curl!!
TXdude4503 2
why don’t you get on top then