Sunday morning bliss

Parenting struggles

Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML

Wakey wakey

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

Wakey Wakey!

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

Just a prank, bro

Today, my kids found out how to control my Google alarm clock with their phones. While I was gone, they set it to play screamo metal at max volume, then paused it. Sometime after midnight, as I was sleeping, they pressed play. FML

Make it stop

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML