Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
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Top comments
kewl92 0
YDI A) phone sex is retarded B) You should've checked no one's home and not just assume everybody's at work
Evan2297 0
Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing AIDS.
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Comments (79)
alex_vik 1
How do you have "amazing phone sex"?
bob1124 0
Today, I woke up and made breakfast. I made some amazing french toast, but then my bitch of a daughter had phone sex at the top of her lungs with her loser boyfriend. I had to listen to the whole thing. FML.
genius_man16 1
Phone sex? wow, really? come on now, if no one is home at either of your houses just go over and **** like real people, jesus.
romaunts 0
Yeah, people have phone sex. People travel, or have LDRs, or just can't go over at that point of time to screw. It happens. You talk sexy and usually **********. Don't knock it 'cause you think its stupid- it can be really hot, and intense, and its a good way of connecting. I used to do it with my LD boyfriend, and it was awesome- you get to hear them talk sexy, and get to talk sexy to them, and you both get worked up, and get to hear the other one get off. It's just another means to an end, when you can't physically be together, and is better than getting yourself off alone, without the aid of hearing them. If its not your thing, gtfo.
dikinass 0
**** on bitchass
caticaticati 3
Um, maybe OP (like others have said) couldn't get to her boyfriend's house/he couldn't get to hers because it's a long distance relationship or something, orrr maybe they're like my boyfriend and myself and don't HAVE sex but still mess around... What the hell is wrong with phone sex? And for those of you that are like, "How can it be AMAZING, what the hell?" pretty sure that although someone else getting you off usually feels better, that doesn't mean masturbating doesn't still feel good... sometimes it's great 'cause YOU know exactly what feels good for yourself far better than anyone else does.
buffalocompton 0
haha wow that sucks.
buffalocompton 0
why not have video sex? if you can't get out there and do the real thing?
BLNovelist 0
I seriously wonder why phone sex is so looked down upon....I mean, gods, not all of us can just get up and go have actual sex. :/ FYL, OP.
kellster 2
And that's why you always check first!!!