Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
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Top comments
kewl92 0
YDI A) phone sex is retarded B) You should've checked no one's home and not just assume everybody's at work
Evan2297 0
Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing AIDS.
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Comments (79)
rocketbest 0
phone sex s one of the good safe things 2 have sex, so what s the mom doing home, she s listening and maybe being sorry 4 not doin the same
Zombierella 2
haha, I've read this without reading "phone" makes it funnier
riku3220 2
How the Hell do you have AMAZING phone sex? For Christ's sake unless both of you are college English professors then I'd imagine masturbating would be better.
LMDaniel_Brendle 0
rocketbest shut the **** up...
SpittingVenom 0
i like number 15 : )
buttercup707 0
hopefully you didnt get hearing AIDs. haha. : D
Zombierella 2
LOL
SpitFyre 0
Lol nice one.
Monie_Madness 0
#32.. that comment was an epic win. hah(x that made my day :'D
cheeter 0
LMFAO "Hope you didn't get Hearing AIDs" Ah your a funny guy.. yes you are..
poopybear 0
so does this mean you also had a amazing masturbation session too? i'd assume? just go bang him out. YDI.
seb12992 0
YDI for having "amazing phone sex". Phone sex is lame.
FreakOnaLeash 0
That's what you get for having phone sex,*****!!!!!!
bholland16 0
lol freakonaleash, ur so dumb. how does phone sex make you a *****? it's not even real sex. there is no contact.
BluePrincess 0
U r retarded how does it make her a ***** ? If she had real sex then that would make her normal ? Or wat ? U have never had sex ? R-tard
19lollipop96 0
#3 hahahahahahahahahahahahahah brilliant!! lol!!