Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard cannon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML
Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
Today, I used a blanket outside for a picnic. Later, while throwing it in the washer, I noticed a lizard jump out to land inbetween the bowl and the side. Then I noticed a wasp had joined it. I'm scared to open my washer now. FML
Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML
Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML
Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML
Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
foolest 7
geico's new advertising tactics are amazing
eaglerob 20
Canon's new 3D printer...almost too good
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (24)
el_Jeffe_D 11
Congrats, OP! I literally laughed out loud :-)
Turbuggy 7
Me too!
foolest 7
geico's new advertising tactics are amazing
extremereviews 26
Only in Florida
nonsensical 26
The animals and people in Florida are all crazy
eaglerob 20
Canon's new 3D printer...almost too good
Thor1012 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry to be on this commenting. But are fml ever going to fix this app? like.. ever? all the pop up adds and little stupid things not working are causing me to rage quit.. Such a shame really liked this app
Scorpio1691 29
Their new website is buggy as hell too. and the video pop ups when you submit a coment are damn annoying. Ordinarily i am for change, but this is bad.
Starlight8 14
Me too! I can't barely use this. Lately I haven't been on because of that.
rivenrock 14
It cost me about $1.49 to get rid of the adds. I'm not experiencing any of what you describe. Might be worth the tiny investment.
Dominus101 20
Finish Him !!! Reptile Wins !
Scorpio1691 29
I had not properly laughed at a FML in ages. Thank you!
RichardPencil 32
And I'll bet they gave you one of those cheap-ass "starter" cartridges that has hardly any lizards in it, and then you immediately have to go buy a real one with the proper number of reptiles.
novdestiny 23
OMG best comment evah!
species4872 20
You got the worst end of it? Think about the poor lizard.
Talis99 26
Is the lizard okay?