Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They kept me locked me for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the house. I panicked so hard and immediately started kicking the door, desperate to get my keys. My boyfriend, who I forgot was staying over, woke up and opened the door right as I kicked it, and the door smashed into his face. FML
Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML
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Top comments
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Oh dear. Awkward... What was your reaction? :3 Hopefully it didn't take long to find the keys. I wouldn't want to be in there for long. Or at all, actually.
fxdxhk90 0
Should have taken a few pics for blackmail purposes.
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Comments (138)
AlwaysRejected 0
"My parents were on top of each other" makes no sense. If your dad is on top of your mom, your mom isn't on top of your dad! Unless.....
chipmunk95 0
HOLY SHIT
themaintroll 0
YDI for owning a Venus Fly Trap
cocky 0
At least your mom wasn't calling out your name in pleasure. :P
telepathetic 0
I get moderated for saying the n word but anyone can say cracker, this site is racist and getting sued. goodbye fml
lem0n_fml 0
you really think you're going to win a lawsuit on the grounds of claiming a website is racist because you can't say the n word? good luck, dear.
Intoxicunt 6
"Getting sued"? You really have nothing better to do with your money? Also, you know this site is predominantly run by whites, right? They can't catch all the racism and hatred. However, "******" doesn't have an acceptable use. "Cracker" does. So, I'm really not surprised. Maybe they just skim over looking for too many caps, racial slurs, too much cursing out of another user, etc. I hardly think they are racist.
oosouthernbellxo 0
oh my. i feel very sorry for you. i hope you dont need therapy, but you do sound like you need a hug D:
yisrab 0
THE REAL PLEXICO IS WITH A LOWER CASE p!!!!!!!!
KayceeJane 0
How were they on top of each other?
nanoflacka 0
Threesom xD
ShakeZula7 0
You should be glad your parents have a healthy sex life. You deserve it for being immature.