Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
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Top comments
Gabilliam 19
"I mounted him" I don't know why I'm laughing at this
LennyComa 39
That Sucks, but maybe he was really tired and didn't feel like having sex. It's unlikely but not unheard of.
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Comments (48)
wickedgetz 30
Hahaha. .. but you make it sound like his a horse. .. I mounted him lmao