Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending three hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Meraki 19
"One thing lead to another," ... I was expecting something sexual after that and facepalmed.
iLike2Teabag 27
I was expecting an FML about hooking up with coworkers when I first read this...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
cynical78 15
Your next FML will likely start off "today I got fired for ......"
Retrokitty 9
My managers would have been right in there with the rest of us. I work in a grocery store and we aren't allowed to leave until 15 minutes after closing so we have shopping cart races.
worldclassrager 41
At least you still have your job right?
olpally 33
You should have just been working like normal even if it was cleaning something.
Setareh23 34
Sucks that you were singled out, but you all knew the risks. It's like the grown-up version of playing London Bridge... someone has to get caught!
brandoneyez1 25
Next time let them play and someone else will get the verbal lashing. Sorry op.
Simbaby 23
I'm sorry you were the only one to get jumped onto. You really shouldn't have been doing that at work though.
mayank1 6
Not a great thing to do at office
SirGmoney 9
.
CrazyMelvin 14
And why is this a good idea???