Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML
Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six years asked, "If you'd go somewhere, where'd you go?" Assumed he's planning our first big vacation, I said, "Somewhere warm, with water and beaches." Later I found out via social media that he's at the airport with a chick resembling our new neighbour. They're going to a romantic place with his boss. I also found out that I'm pregnant and unemployed. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
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Top comments
angiemarie96 25
Instagram him a break up pic :) a sign with you giving the finger Clearly they have wifi access to post on instagram
sumbum95 15
Don't worry at least now you know he's a duche! You can do better!:)
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Comments (80)
lazygirlWOW 9
Dig your keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, then carve your name into his leather seats. After that take a Louisville slugger to both head lights and slash a hole in all four tires. Then maybe next time he'll think before he cheats(:
Obey_StudBoii 23
I wouldn't want to be your ex. No offense.
BossPathfinderGM 14
That's a little long-winded for a Carrie Underwood reference, don't you think?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Get his stuff and put it on Instagram for sale. That should do the trick.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Don't even waste your time breaking up with this asshole. Go find a better boyfriend that truly loves and respects you.
Spyfiction 6
Did he not think that you would find out?? It's posted on Instagram :|
jw90 18
Well either send him a photo with you flipping him off or when he gets back it's time for some major ass kicking.
ariellove1992 8
Well post a pic of you making out with a guy
kittykat1501 31
No, then he will say" you cheated first!"
raecattach 7
Leave a comment on the pic :)
AviProspering 5
When he comes back, leave him a nice suprise, like a skunk on the front porche of his house :P
katie_gurley 13
If he doesn't have cell service, how did he post pictures to Instagram?
Llamanator9913 16
Throw his stuff out