Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML
Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six years asked, "If you'd go somewhere, where'd you go?" Assumed he's planning our first big vacation, I said, "Somewhere warm, with water and beaches." Later I found out via social media that he's at the airport with a chick resembling our new neighbour. They're going to a romantic place with his boss. I also found out that I'm pregnant and unemployed. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
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Top comments
angiemarie96 25
Instagram him a break up pic :) a sign with you giving the finger Clearly they have wifi access to post on instagram
sumbum95 15
Don't worry at least now you know he's a duche! You can do better!:)
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Comments (80)
BadApple88 29
Leave him a nasty voicemail
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
A nasty voicemail? As long as you're at it, shoot him a nasty email too! That's not what I would do though. Personally, I wouldn't let him know that I knew anything while he was away. That way he can't prepare himself for the "hurricane" that would be waiting for him when he got home. And then when I first lay eyes on him, the picture will come out and so will his teeth! Lol
thatnucca 36
For the first time in a while an OP doesn't have to be told she deserves better and to break up with her boyfriend by the ever so eager audience...
ShakeDisPlace 10
This calls for an insta-breakup
trbuson 11
Maybe his father drank the wrong polyjuice potion?
chanelvander 7
Bahaha! Yes!
thatnucca 36
"Stoop to my loo my darling" being taken quite literally here...
caitlinrawrr 9
I think you have the wrong FML.. I think you want the one above..
kalbrek009 20
WTH?....It's "skip to the loo" & how does that (skipping to the bathroom) pertain to OPs soon to be ex bf sending her an Instagram of him making out with another woman, & claiming no cell service?
LissaMccracken 23
I don't understand why people cheat... I'm sorry :/
stoych 19
At least you have time to think up a suitably elaborate plan to dump his sorry ass. Do some research on the most humiliating ways it's been done before and get some ideas?
VancouverGuy89 9
Instagram him a pick of his empty place after you leave
thatpurpleone 12
Or throw his stuff out.
sk3p71k 13
Dude... if u wanna leave, leave. If u wanna stay, stay. Cheating is for *******!
surfergirl72 7
It's safe to assume you're broken up.