Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
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Top comments
ohthebloodygore 16
You shouldn't have been rude.
Arsonnist 3
4(am)-3(years)=1 crazy drunk guy.
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Comments (115)
triggerit 5
what's the use of warring of dead drunk man... just call him in a day and invite him to come to drink...
5t3ff1k4h 45
OP's father is not dead. You also can't war or call a dead man. A dead man will not be drunk. A dead man will also not be able to enjoy the consumption of alcohol with his son.
triggerit 5
deadly sry what a boring person you are...just slip of the finger and f''ng iphone is ready to help you to be an idiot...
ghostdude99 0
what you did three years ago? I don't need to ******* know. but after three years your dad should have been more of an adult and forgave you. He is just a bitch.
BrookeBabe92 0
This made me laugh for some reason... Anyway, FYL.
helen29 4
damn your dads a doosh !!!
v11310e 0
=[ been there.
BossHog 0
why were you at a party with your dad?
TAugusta 0
Karma's a Mona :D haha I'm playin
TAugusta 0
Jesus chr¡st ppl it's a fml not a essay contest XD
Morpheus414 0
Let me guess: He's also glad he shot you now?
mschrisaya 4
Sounds like my Dad...