Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML
Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML
Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML
Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it's actually because I don't have any friends to invite over. FML
Today, I ran into a guy I haven't seen since high school. He started ranting about what an asshole I was for not inviting him to my birthday party when I was 12. We're 50 now, the party was cancelled because my granddad died, and we were not friends anyway, I just hung out with him as I felt sorry for him sometimes. FML
Today, I received a text forward from a good friend inviting me to his birthday party. Jokingly, I texted back, "No. I hate you and I don't want to go to your lame party." He replied with an apology for the mix-up, because he'd accidentally sent me the invite. FML
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Top comments
inappropes 31
I would say you had a large impact on his life if he remembered you while drunk and was compelled to call you. If anything he is the loser doing something so pathetic.
RichardPencil 32
You should have told him that his family was never short on the rent because his mom did many 'jobs for your dad ;)
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Comments (2)
inappropes 31
I would say you had a large impact on his life if he remembered you while drunk and was compelled to call you. If anything he is the loser doing something so pathetic.
RichardPencil 32
You should have told him that his family was never short on the rent because his mom did many 'jobs for your dad ;)