Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
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Top comments
ohthebloodygore 16
You shouldn't have been rude.
Arsonnist 3
4(am)-3(years)=1 crazy drunk guy.
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Comments (115)
Jimboom 12
See now, what you should have done is when he called you back the second time is say "Sorry, who are you after? You got the wrong number buddy". Easiest way to confuse a drunk dialler. ;)
astroid714 0
ahaha op dnt be mean to drunk ppl it's not nicelol
Y_U_19029 0
EPIC WIN! Nice timing!
FYLDeep 26
I think the amount of FMLs of this nature proves that stupid people, do in fact have the most children.
redbluegreen 41
Wait, are you saying you haven't seen Idiocracy?
succubusprime 0
do you **** drunk dudes/girls because you think they genuinely love you, too?
misfitSuperStar 0
Drunk dialing is NEVER a good idea. I'm sorry, op. No offense, but your Dad sounds like a real d*ck!! fyl
meneedlove 0
Tell him to **** off, "now you dont need a 3 yers old story to breake my balls, I just gave you a brand new one, asshole."
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Why were you rude to him? YDI
xNephilim 19
Like you've never been rude to your parents. That's just a certain phase every teenager goes through. The whole "**** off, I'm right and you're not" thing.
cincin75 0
I think he is cute.
machiko_fml 0
You kind of deserved it for being rude to him. Never disrespect your elders, or whatever that stupid saying went.