Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML
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Top comments
xMooMoox 0
Now is the time were you sneak a guy into the house and have really loud sex. When she catches you say "I thought you wanted me to get some!" And walk away.
Pearson_fml 0
you should have said somethin along the lines of "you don't have to have a boyfriend to have sex y'know"
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Comments (31)
CatherineARE 0
hmmm... maby your mum saw the same thing my mother saw because my mother saw a show about the same thing then when come home she tells me "hey.. today i saw a show on STD's and thay said that orel sex can cause throat cancer" i reply with.."hmmm i did not know cancer was contagious" then i walk off and she yells "remember i love u and no ********" i guess because i look 17 i momther forgets i'm allmost 13 but i was 11 at the time (maby my mother thinks i'm a **** hmmm) mother's must be weird all over the world...... but then again my mother is braind dead..... thats not a joke..
IndigoFuckYou 9
Ehem. Catherine. I congratulate you on telling everyone on FML a completely useless story, along with your name and age. way to take up space.
PASSWORD_unlucky 0
Agree with #1,# 2,# 5, #6, #8. hahaha, I think that was a tipical "uncomfortable moment"
happyhak 5
Who says you need a boyfriend? :)
fatalkiss 0
I don't even think this is an fml she only said it because she thinks you're not messing around with guys you're not dating meaning she doesn't think you're a *****.
raithex 0
I go with #10. There was absolutely no reason for her to say that, even if you didn't have a boyfriend. FYL, chicka.
loveshell 0
OMG if my mom ever said that to me i wuld tell her to look at my boyfriends video camera....=]
cowycal 4
Oh, you just got told.
Hozay 0
why didn't u tell her about your boyfriend??
stillirise98 4
Lmao.
Friaza 29
What's with all the drama? The mum was just stating the facts, blame reality.
Kiirst_mt1994 26
LOL!!