Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
Today, I was accepted to the college of my dreams. Then I checked the address. Turns out, the letter was meant for my neighbor. I was actually denied. FML
Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML
Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Jeez, now there's a blast from the past. This is how people from the days of yore were courted, OP. My grandmother framed the dick pic my grandfather first sent. The picture is very well hung.
Welshite 40
Put a penis pump and some pamphlets for viagra in your mailbox. Wait for him to come back. Destroy his ego.
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Comments (60)
vikky538 29
That's a creepy dick move
awesomekirby098 11
Love your username.
Liyuesigs 8
It's the finger-sucking guy. He followed you home.
JigglesGirl 19
I love the profile name. Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game series ever!
TheNewGuy03 29
Zelda is indeed better than Peach. Except in Smash Bros.
l3b4s1 8
Thats ****** up
21lifesucks 1
That's the classiest dick pic ever
trucker2 33
Time for a lineup must definitely be identified
MorganHex 28
hang it on the mail box bulletin board and with a lost dog poster saying someone lost their tea cup weiner dog.
MorganHex 28
thanks
Chlo1996 15
Ah, friendly new neighbours