Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
justsayfuck 5
Let me guess, it's still in the cupboard, waiting for its next victim?
RachelHellYeah 0
that's totally something I would do!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Bugs = extra protein. You should have eaten them right in front of your brother. THAT would have been hardcore!
Compufreak 0
Nice idea, dude!
Compufreak 0
Nice idea, dude!
Lukee 0
Today, a massive hand killed 3 of my brothers, later another hand tried to kill me, FML
RachelHellYeah 0
....huh??
ImaCanuck 0
lol he's using the view of the bugs.
Lukee 0
atta boy
RachelHellYeah 0
Oh okay!!! That makes so much more sense...
YouSuckAtLove 0
hence the box, Animal Crackers.
danica45 7
well at least you didnt eat any OP...
SkullCanddi 0
Ur Brother Is A Dumbass Then.
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Haha, sounds like your brother likes to live in a gross environment. xD FYL, OP. Next time check the box before you grab without looking. Bugs manage to get in everything if you're not careful about it.
Coccinelle_fml 15
What's up with all the ants-bugs-fungus FMLs recently?
cstrat 0
This makes an FML? You're a little prima dona and deserve your ant crackers. Come back after your brother holds you down and makes you eat them.
thatonedame 6
boys do that. . . and if your not smart enough to look at food before you put it in your mouth, that's your own fault. how does this make fml?
Yah_Imma_Gamer 0
Your brother is a lazy dipshit.
rwctkd95 0
iPhone girl!!!! yea boi!!!