Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML
Today, and once a week for the past three weeks, I had to tell some house guests to stop flushing things like Q-tips and tampons down my apartment's toilet. My preteen siblings? No, my 45-year-old mom and her similarly-aged boyfriend. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML
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Top comments
squizzlebee 19
That's disgusting.
NYM88 26
If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.
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Comments (109)
SexyQueen0905 24
Invest in air freshener, candles, perfume, Vick's vapor rub, etc...
andrmac 25
You could remind them that means someone will need to clean said toilet 3 or more times a week depending to family size or they could go back to the 1 time a week if they just flushed.
FalloutScrolls 25
Your grandma sounds like a bitter hippie who needs to meet up with a fire hose... probably again.
Tyrez 32
Just stop flushing altogether! Or start using the back yard. It saves so much water and your grandma will be proud!
blahhhhhhh85 9
my mother in law is that way. f that it's gross
Inkoseh 33
There was a study a man did in the United States, learning that flushing a regular toilet after every pee, 2x a day on average (not including a pee/poo duo trip) only cost an extra $10-$11 a year per person. I wish I saved the source. Google and look it up, and show it to them! I hate rules like that, as being a girl, I do not want someone else's piss splashing on me!
Aky0n 10
As a guy, I wouldn't want someone elses piss on me either. Good hygiene is not sex specific, lol.
militarybrat 21
It only splashes if you are sitting on it while flushing... Its a water use thing in places with drought.
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Tell grandma to shove it. That's a health hazard, and the whole reason why we have indoor plumbing. Otherwise you may as well be using a chamber pot.
corky1992 33
I'd still flush anyways.
Dexter83_fml 17
That's ******* gross Don't be surprised if you get sick
kiaora_fml 11
Id fake that I did a poo just to flush it