Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
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Top comments
intensitive 11
I would have spit it in her face.
ricosuave1106 0
sounds like a great mom...
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Comments (153)
MichieBabiie 0
lmao! your mom is awesome!
suppressed08 2
thats pretty disgusting ;)
KMF524 3
time 2 call CPS. what a bitch.
Kranius 0
eat_this_buddie 5
i'd be pissed. yuck
perdix 31
Send me a picture of your "buddie" and I just might.
ShallowWerewolf 0
Ive done this before it really sucks lol FYL and FML
rawrimapenguin 0
my mom did that to me beforeeee. gawddd its nasty.
PsychoMerk 0
that's effing gross e_e I wouldve blown up at my mom if she even STARTED smoking >_>I mean, the smell is ******* terrible, imagine the taste?
perdix 31
Yuck, you should have shoved that can up her ash-hole. Let's hope you don't get thirsty when you're driving around with your dad when he's dipping snuff. If that happens, take the advice of the Dos Equis guy: Stay thirsty, my friend.
perdix 31
Do you know that when people dip snuff, they produce copious amounts of thick, viscous tobacco-saliva mix which they often spit in a soda can, if one is handy?
CallMeHush 1
On of my cleaners used to eat everything he found while working till a coke turned out to be a dip cup. Then he stuck to clear liquids.
Nosecandy 0
That was a wonderful mental image!
CallMeHush 1
I do my best!
CallMeHush 1
And on today's episode of Tales From The Trailer Park...
jsquared3509 0
snickerdoodles swears!? I would have thought she thinks swearing is inproper. anyway. sucks for you. I woulda been pissed.
Vitamin_C 0
*Improper