Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
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Top comments
intensitive 11
I would have spit it in her face.
ricosuave1106 0
sounds like a great mom...
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Comments (153)
DukeSkidmark 0
Piss in a can of soda and give it to mom she deserves it
kkattt 1
been there, done that.
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
yeah same with #70 been there done that, not really an fml. Except mine was at a party when i was drunk and the can of cherry coke looked like the most delicious thing at the world at the time.
xHabsfanx 0
OP are you the same girl whose boyfriend kicked her out of his car for peeing everywhere?
baseballLoVeR218 1
how she dumb? OP is driving and u think she would take time to look at it
RachelMarilyn 0
No lie...this has happened to me before. Happens to the best of us haha
boopityboppity 11
Pomegranate juice in sparkling water is amazing.
ghostwitch1863 0
That sucks! Happened to me before. Thought I was drinking apple juice and it was only it had cigarette butts from a friend. Seems the asshole couldn't find my ashtray! I know check to make certain I am drinking exactly what it says on the bottle and I take the time to pour it into a glass. UGH!
suziie_fml 0
ahh not fun I accidentally did that when I was younger and she's not dumb u just don't notice
ScaryyMary 14
She was just trying to teach you how terrible smoking is, GOSH! Don't complain!