Today, things have gotten so bad with my wife that we both used the smell and sound of outside traffic as an excuse to not have anniversary sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML
Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, yet I'm somehow the bad guy because I refused to have makeup sex with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Dude, just break up at this point. Why be miserable together when you can be okay apart?
carmo21449 8
divorce good lord
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Comments (2)
Anderling 33
Dude, just break up at this point. Why be miserable together when you can be okay apart?
mha8649 8
it's cheaper to keep her.
carmo21449 8
divorce good lord