Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Handle with care
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML
Food poisoning is back on the menu!
Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML
Klutz
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Tasty
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML
Tasty!
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
No third base for you
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
I can explain
Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML
Top comments
Keyman1212 14
Dip spit smells terrible. You should have noticed.
Broc831 6
I think I threw up a little in my mouth... that sucks!
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Comments (171)
Keyman1212 14
Dip spit smells terrible. You should have noticed.
LiveLaughFML 10
welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burgers, can I take ya order!? ;D
yougotapes 7
Dip... You can't find that flavor anymore consider your self lucky
DalPozzo13 10
I would've puked
immortal628 20
Thats why I don't let my friends do that shit in my car.
Slily1212 5
Nasty! Throw his dip spit cup in his face. Then brush your teeth..
EvilPotato 15
What's your favorite burger joint.
Finn_the_human 5
It smell just like it taste...delicious.
RockRoll 0
47- You profile picture really fits your comment. XD
FailBear920 19
Dave chapelle reference FTW!
Finn_the_human 5
=D
stacianichole 2
24 - you can, clearly. Just ask any redneck to spit into an empty 20oz. Mountain Dew bottle (label peeled off, of course) and there you have it. Refreshing mint Skoal saliva. 47 - Adventuretime is awesome
enonymous 9
What kind of dip was it? I hope sweet and sour sauce maybe BBQ?
Naked_Communist 0
My 5-yr old nephew did this once, though it was a Pepsi can. You thought there was projectile vomiting in The Exorcist? Kiddos don't sniff before they sip. If you gotta dip, fine, go for it. Just get rid of your spit cans after, for the love of all that's holy!
italianbby 11
I've drank it on accident.. NASTY.
yougotapes 7
67 Sorry rednecks are endangered where I live... I got mexicans?? Does that work... Side note.....love adventure time!!!
reddawn85 8
That's why you don't spit in anything That isn't clear or had coffee, root beer or coke in it. Also putting a napkin in the spitter absorbs it. Tell your friend he's an amature.
BuhZinga 2
There are so many ways to avoid this that it's making my head hurt to try to come up with ANY plausible scenario where a person of average intelligence makes this mistake. OP was in his own car and the spit was OP's friend so I must assume OP let the friend borrow the car or else OP would clearly have been aware of the dip bottle if not already disposed of it. In this case either the friend brought his own bottle or used one of OP's from the car. OP assumed the bottle had soda in it so unless the friend dumped out a bottle the OP was saving (for when it was nice and old/flat/warm) then OP just grabbed a bottle with no idea where it came from (it's his own car for crying out loud, he should know!) and smell-blindly gulped it down, thus HDI.
booboojlc 0
I almost did that once, close call!! Gotta love boyfriends that leave dip bottles everywhere!
monkeys1315 0
I've done that before. It's gross!!!!
azxn7 3
TL;DR
cygarcia 0
Wth is dip spit?
warped_moustache 2
Dip is chewable tobacco, & it makes you spit a lot. They drank someone's tobacco spit
Jrefinne 7
What the hell? This isn't a western movie.
Keyman1212 14
You do not chew dip, you chew Chew, which is a different kind of smokeless tobacco. You suck on dip, by placing it in between your lip and gums, or gums and cheek ect. I replied to this earlier but it was not posted on this comment for some reason. I'm speaking from personal experience as a dipper, and a Texan.
Prankster7o7 5
Yeah, we call it snuff or lip candy, and the stuff stinks, there's no way you could confuse it with soda, unless there's a lid or your nose is stopped up. But chew and snuff spit both look the same. But chew taste like raisins though. :/
urdirtyolduncle 15
22- Dont your gums and insides of your mouth get ****** up from doing that?
Keyman1212 14
43- yeah they do, that's why I don't dip obsessively.
ZebcoGirl 0
In the south we like to call that a spit cup.. But whatever..
blondieblue33 2
Ew, you do dip? You know that ruins your mouth, right?
FailBear920 19
Well in the south you date your sisters as well!
djmixon 0
You are nasty! I'm Texan and I can't stand that!
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm pretty sure you can chew dip...
dab123 3
Only Arkansas. Don't tarnish the rest of the southern states names you Yankee.
dab123 3
^^meant for 53. Lovely outfit by the way.
rexgar2000 10
unicorn fart huh? I'm just not even gonna bother
j_cat187 20
Cigars have more swag than smelly dip
cindy_senne 0
I don't dip but im from Texas!
savfd645 7
No way you can chew dip unless you really wanna get sick and throw up for hours on in. You pack dip in your lip and suck on it without swallowing it. Once you have enough spit built up, you spit it out and start over. I'm speaking from experience. I just recently quit dipping. I'm live in the country out in Louisiana.
ZebcoGirl 0
Screw you. We do not. If you wanna see a messed up Southern state go to Georgia or Lousiana. Them two will make Arkansas look 10x better..
dazza32101 3
Have fun with your Lung Cancer
alexicanaaa 7
No we don't...? Wow.
CDogg1313 1
You do realize it doesn't cause lung cancer since you don't smoke it
studmuffin96 8
when your dip, you put a it between your lips and gum. there's fiberglass in it, which cuts your lip, allowing nicotine into your system. the dip juice is saliva and tobacco juice, which gives it that nasty taste, especially after it's been sitting @159 since you dont smoke it, nothing gets into your lungs, thus making it impossible to get lung cancer
a2zx2 6
I love the way u wrote that ahaa
copy125 0
Hahaha maybe next time he'll remember to clean his car more often
schaflava 0
I love the way you lie
Broc831 6
I think I threw up a little in my mouth... that sucks!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Copenhagen, what a wad of flavor.... Please tell me I'm not the only person on this site that listens to Robert Earl Keen.
texasgirl1996 11
Love that song!
booboojlc 0
Hell ya if you are from Texas it is a sin not to!!!! love that song!
optimusprime0069 8
Mmm good old brown water! I Bet that tasted as fresh as a unicorns fart!
Keyman1212 14
You do not chew dip. Chew is tobacco you chew. Dip, you place in your lip or by your gums and essentially suck on it. It's hard to explain... I'm just speaking from experience as a dipper and a Texan.
Emmy_The_Great 2
I always thought unicorn fart would taste like caramel.
optimusprime0069 8
No a unicorn fart tastes like rainbows. Get it right.
BuhZinga 2
so... skittles?
booboojlc 0
Good ol' Texas gotta love it! And thank you for correcting the world on the difference between dip and chew I can't count how many times I have had to do that!
vocaloidtiger 12
When I read it the first time, I thought it said dip SHIT. I couldn't even comprehend that..
country4life17 0
I love me some grizzly straight. But just be sure and check next time
alym1617 0
lol, ydi for being friends with a dipper. Dip; all the cancer of cigarettes with the added benefit of looking like trash
Chaos187 6
Or kill your lungs ;D
Keyman1212 14
That "looking like trash" is an opinion. In the South, such as Texas, dipping is much more social acceptable than cigarettes. If you want to look like trash, go around smoking, polluting the air, and pissing off those around you who don't smoke.
FDoA 1
My boyfriend dips & happens to be an infantry soldier for the US Army, placing his life on the line. I didn't realize that dipping made him "trashy"...
stacianichole 2
Being in the army makes him honorable/respectable. Dipping makes him trashy. Ah, the beauty of duality.
stacianichole 2
P.S. What do you think that shit looks like in your mouth when you're talking to people?
bryannab1 0
Not all people who Dip, or do any other form of chuew tabbaco are bad people. I know alot if people who do it and they are amazing.
stacianichole 2
Trashy /=/ bad necessarily. Just gross.
Keyman1212 14
Have you ever talked to someone while they've dipped? Unless they are relatively new to the process, you won't even see the dip at all, and in some cases, you won't even be able to tell that someone is dipping.
FDoA 1
He is anything BUT trashy, thank you. I don't know your definition of "trashy", but dipping isn't, especially here in the south. a bad habit? maybe, but if dipping is considered trashy to you, I would hate to see what else you believe is trashy. I'm pretty sure you're at fault for some type of habit. it's no worse than drinking or smoking. in fact, it's probably more respectable than either of them, in the case that you're not plastered & stripping or blowing smoke into people's faces.
dusthawg 4
I got 5 years of dipping under my belt and since day one I never spit the juice or the dip out
dusthawg 4
So it's not trashy if your not spitting it and smoking I'd like to see who dies more from smoking or chewing
Keyman1212 14
Dusthawg, you are lying out your ass if you say you've never spit it out. Dip contains fiberglass, that if swallowed WILL cut up your stomach, and WILL make you regurgitate it.
Nemmycakes 3
Dipping is somewhat safer than smoking. No respiratory illnesses like COPD or emphysema. No lung cancer. There is mouth and throat cancer though.
Technoir 2
Kudos to him for serving his country, but yeah, dipping makes him trashy.
FDoA 1
He isn't trashy...if every person was over-opinionated like you, then we would all be considered "trashy". All those words being used to describe this situation can also be reflected In you.
BuhZinga 2
Being a non smoker, I have to say I prefer the second hand smoke to having to talk to someone with a lip-full of dip. They sound half retarded (size depending) and t's so disgusting when they pause to spit.
dusthawg 4
Actually I do swallow it and skoal doesn't contain fibre glass copenhagen does
Keyman1212 14
132- you must 'dip' pouches then, which makes you a pussy. And there's still fiber glass in pouches, but you don't ever touch the actual tobacco. That's how you get the tobacco in your system, it won't get in your blood stream without the fiber glass making minute cuts in your lip/gums.
JMTS 0
At least it wasn't dip shit
iLikeReadingFMLs 2
LOL no one pointed out that OP used the words "burger joint". LOL I can't remember the last time I heard someone say that.
dani212 0
At least it wasn't piss...
ObeseKitten 0
That's YOUR UPSIDE?!
stacianichole 2
Close enough!