Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
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Top comments
intensitive 11
I would have spit it in her face.
ricosuave1106 0
sounds like a great mom...
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Comments (153)
awesomechica1229 5
that exact thing happenned to me, and let me tell you ciggarette ash does not taste good :(
snapdragons 0
Snickerdoodles you're the ****.
dsalex 0
don't make fun of snickerdoodle she always posts something that makes me laugh, or that i agree. You my not so friend are the true ****
kikiface 1
at least she doesn't throw the butts out the window i guess.
boopityboppity 11
You're an optimistic one, aren't you?
kikiface 1
perhaps. i can't stand litterbugs
boopityboppity 11
Neither can I. You still qualify as optimistic, though.
mopar383 0
Snickerdoodles isn't a **** she's just putting her opion in like the rest of us and yes this is funny yet discusting
perdix 31
She'd be a **** if she had the bad taste to correct your spelling of "opinion" and "disgusting.". I hope this blunts her attack on a supporter.
Boddmon 0
WTF is an opion? and WTF is discusting? Go back to school.
Nosecandy 0
I read the word 'opium.'
terran0 0
almost did that
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Mmmm. The sweet taste of nicotine. Yummy :]
snapdragons 0
No sorry she is a ****. If you read any of the other FMLs it's easy to see that she is nothing but a big fat hairy ****.
Fedor_is_KING 0
You're making me hungry #32!
KurouTenshi 0
that's ******* hilarious!! yeah sometimes I try bottled Poe soul, and they take my hearts away :( I feel your pain.
dsalex 0
yes but you have fareies that save your hearts too.
I_am_that_guy 0
lol you disagree with everything that's fun but anyways how could you not like soda? it's like you're tongue is having an ******
kikiface 1
"ydi for drinking soda" are you completely serious?