Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML
Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
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Top comments
nmsm 1
why would he leave something like that in his yard. weirdo.
dixieboo 0
Who said your neighbor was Jiraya???
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Comments (218)
SadinSherman 16
You are lucky the neighbor didn't make you pay for the magazine.
richard121212 0
...really?
perdix 31
You mean shards of *pictures* of naked women. If you found your neighbors mass grave of murdered prostitutes and runaways, you'd be picking up the shards of naked women. Let's hope you don't live in Liberty County where they thought they found a mass grave.
MurphyS94 4
Hahaha that's great. I didn't even notice that.
Stupend0us 7
Was it vintage or something? You need to introduce your neighbor to the Internet as there is plenty of **** available and best of all it's free. Who uses print **** still?
crxb16 2
I'd have put every piece in his mailbox. "Mail motha fucka" And charge extra next time
YourMomxD 8
I would have just left all the shards taped together in his mailbox.
Rawr_means_love3 0
EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING!!!!! Everyone is entitled to an opinion! now, STFU!!!
shellzy 20
I can't for the life of me figure out how you managed to pull that off. Were you looking up the whole time? Or did you think that the oddly colored shiny perfectly rectangular patch on the lawn was just a new breed of grass that just happened to look like a mostly naked chick? It confuses us precious.
daxter136 0
that sounds sexy
otb113 7
ever heard of a rake?
pinkribbon22 0
you should have put all the pieces together and made them a huge picture on their lawn