Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML
Today, I was home alone while my family was on a trip for 3 days at the beach. I walked around naked and did stuff, thinking they wouldn't know. After a whole evening of doing stuff like that, I noticed a camera. They were filming it all. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML
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Top comments
invadermaythe1st 35
#31 the comments were posted at the exact same time.
thrifting 18
So you could say he was choking the chicken, eh?
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Comments (65)
thrifting 18
So you could say he was choking the chicken, eh?
nickaa827 13
Don't expect to get liked for saying the same thing as #1
invadermaythe1st 35
#31 the comments were posted at the exact same time.
Daevas 18
Great minds think alike ...
gear4 29
just wondering if he exploded at you after this
socialproduct 19
Considering the context... hopefully not.
rachelllllb 18
if he was back why wasnt he feeding his own chickens??
DaDezza244 31
My best guess would be that the owner was lying. I could be wrong though
Shadowvoid 33
"Guess ho found the neighbor home early" OP didn't know their neighbor was home and maybe the neighbor already fed the chickens and OP didn't know.
rachelllllb 18
yeah i re read it after i posted it and realised thats what was said... the neighbour could have had the decency to let them know he wasnt needed to feed the chickens anymore...
mustangbravo 27
Bummer! You can't erase that from your mind.
MrConcise 35
Did you help him play with his peckers?
ComoEsJuan 24
He has more than one?
MrConcise 35
Of course, that's why OP was over there! He/she had to feed them.
keeyun 11
He wanted you feed the chickens while he choked his.
satanic_fml 13
*insert masturbation joke here*
brand125 17
so funny, howd you come up with that one?
jerryj 27
Probably by overworking his single braincell.
lulinator 40
They owe you free chicken for the rest of the year for you to eat, so you can afford to go to therapy to wipe that scene from your brain.
HappyItalian 38
Guess that **** got him up early.
lauralabia3 13
hopefully he brought you brain bleach as a thank you present, for looking after his fowl....