Take the L

Idiot tax

Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

Baseless

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

Same old story

Today, after 8 years and a house bought together, I realised I regret getting married. FML

So close

Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

The house always wins

Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML

Here comes the bride…

Today, I realized that I may have made a mistake in getting married, because he kept telling people to "Stop fucking crying, it's not a funeral." FML

That's nice, but…

Today, my husband announced the reason he had been working since much is because he had secretly paid off my tens of thousands of student loans. I then had to tell him I'm leaving him for his best friend. FML

Still waiting on Q

Today, I’m married to a man who thought Trump had several good ideas but just went about it the wrong way, but he’s sure he’ll do better next time when he takes the White House back from Biden. FML