Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
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Top comments
ElMundio87 0
complain to the president, and you might get a free beer
Tubasaurus 0
Because people that rob houses never run right? Hurray for dumbass police officers!
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Comments (164)
FuzzyWalnuts 0
#98 hyozanryu - are you seriously bitching about grammar in a FML post???? And if you really wanna be a douche about something so pointless, there's a little thing called personification. It's where you give human characteristics to animals and inanimate objects. So, is a house getting robbed grammatically correct? Yes. Now **** off grammar freak.
Hyozanryu 0
Your ******* name is fuzzy walnuts, I don't have to listen to you.
master565 0
that what u get for exersizing
midwest4life 0
**** the pigsssss
pace_pusher 0
Hey ass wipe. Yeah the guy should have gotten an apology or restitution, but there are good cops and bad cops, as like every profession. You know what, the cops keep our cities safe and if you want to be a douche and call them pigs. I hope you get screwed and the cops do nothing about it.
Shyman4ever 0
Why are cops such n00bs these days.
sofiesmurf 0
as soon as i read this, i knew it happened in massachusetts
mrnicety 0
Is your penis ok?
muffinsareyummy 1
call obama. he'll make sure to insult the policemen for you.
theintrollama 0
Sue?
Polygon 0
bull shit, they HAVE to read you your miranda rights and tell you why you are being arrested. the cops can lose their jobs over that if you take legal action.
crazybear16 0
haha. wat a **** up