Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, I met the new boss, who kicked the door open looking 15 years-old, with sunglasses on hiding his hangover, threw his bag on the desk knocking everything over, and greeted me with, “What the hell you doing in my office, bro?” This is going to be a complete disaster, I can feel it. FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML
Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
He's just bitter you'll probably soon replace him.
MrThump 16
Need to think glass half full here.... At least you know your boss isn't going to ask you to come in early to work!
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Comments (51)
username19999 7
Call of duty player right there
The_Majestique 18
1v1 him lol if your a "tryhard"
kovalsky_fml 10
Wow had a moment of dyslexia and thought he said you were a fucktard trying.. Your boss is a douche
TheNewGuy03 29
Soooo ... I guess you should show up late and "try hard" to be fired...? What a tool of a boss...
worldclassrager 41
Just keep it up...you'll move up the ranks in time it's an excellent virtue
Michaelaarnett 22
He probably plays too much Destiny like I do. I hate the people that try too hard to win. Thus the phrase '******* try hards' But he's probably just in a bad mood. Sorry OP.
Murilirum 23
Probably misinterpreted humour to lighten the mood. This is totally me when I do interviews
JGrant4325 9
Don't let that get you down! I always come in early... Just work hard and show him what you got!
LoZelda123 20
Ok So what I'm hearing is arrive 30 minutes late each day with a flask and sit on your ass all day. that sounds like the logical thing to do given his very clear expectations
Katsumaxson 0
Sounds like you need a job where people actually appreciate you going above and beyond. Keep it up I'm sure you hard work will pay off ;)