Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
Call for backup. We can not let this sorry excuse for a dried-up grape get away with a crime like this.
Fruit_Dealer 9
I heard the rate of suicide bombing on toatsers are raisin' these days.
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Comments (134)
SuperKnuckels 6
go to london and raid yourself a toaster.
talktomandybaby 8
What the ****?
clementine00 1
it was probably caused by the crap your friends put in there the night before.
supaisu 0
toasty.
jking54 0
Like a pro
andyj1324 4
like a boss
sciencekidster1 8
You just got burrrned
benniful 0
well what took it out, a raisin or a teacake? are you sure your not drunk?
monnanon 14
It was the teacake, they have raisens in them
WhimsicalMusings 11
Yes, she could - by living in England. OP is in Glasgow. Glasgow=Scotland. It's entirely possible that OP is an English (or Welsh, or French or...you get the picture) student who's headed north to study, but the chances are good that she's Scottish, not English. The UK is made up of four separate countries/nations: Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland, England - it's not hard to remember. If you can remember all the States in the USA, you can remember the names of four countries. Can't say I have much sympathy with those crying "I don't get it!" You'd think people had never heard of Google. Her friends were drunk. They poured chicken soup all over crumpets (a griddle cake like a pancake, but nowhere near as sweet) and toasted it. Toaster appeared to have survived the experience. OP went to get breakfast, and put a perfectly normal teacake (again, a cake/bread hybrid similar to a pancake, with raisins in it) into the toaster. That's when the toaster decided to commit suicide. It's an irony thing.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well most people are morons, and some are closet minded, unfortunately
bfsd42 20
Get a new one. They're cheap. Even by students standards.
jgduplante 9
It was probably on the verge of dying from having the crumpets in it the night before and you put it right over the edge. Poor toaster :3
MaddyHatter 8
I know these words because I read Harry Potter.
track_and_cheer 3
To bad these words arent in Harry potter...